


Why Clint Barton Should Never Have Children

by strictlyamess



Series: Melting [2]
Category: The Avengers (2012)
Genre: Multi, sims
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-06-08
Updated: 2012-06-08
Packaged: 2017-11-07 08:07:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,065
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/428797
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/strictlyamess/pseuds/strictlyamess
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Some things are accomplished in the Simverse by free will, others are accomplished by force. Steve Rogers learns this the hard way.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Why Clint Barton Should Never Have Children

The team eventually begins to function in a way that is routine, if not normal. The personality differences that were once glaring begin to seem complimentary rather than clashing in light of there not being pressing alien attacks anymore, and things began to settle down. Sort of.

There is a week when Natasha and Clint take it upon themselves to introduce Steve and Thor to the “fine art”, as Clint likes to refer to it, of video games. (Tony and Bruce, upon hearing of this, lock themselves in their lab for three days to examine an "interesting specimen" that Bruce had found on his shoe.) Day two of this attempt sees Thor break three whole televisions in his excitement over Wii Sports, so they quickly move on to more docile games, and through this, Steve is introduced to The Sims.

He is fascinated, of course. The studio artist in him wants to create every possibility, to sculpt out countless faces and bodies for these simulated people, to dress them lavishly and poorly and every combination he can think of—but first, Natasha says, the daunting task of recreating their team in computerized miniature.

Steve is absurdly meticulous with his detail work. Thor is bored within five minutes and gravitates back towards the Wii, much to Clint’s dismay.

Three hours later, two more televisions are broken, and Steve has built the perfect Sim team of Avengers down to the last detail. Natasha makes him move them into a pre-built house, because it’s already been three hours, and encourages him to turn free will up and see what they’ll do.

It’s all fairly predictable, actually.

Clint’s Sim pesters Natasha’s insistently until she gives up and, to Natasha’s horror, has a child with him. (Clint is in a good mood for hours after he finds out. He insists on naming the baby Mockingbird, because “it’s awesome”, and Natasha punches him in the stomach, because Mockingbird, really.)

Bruce’s Sim doesn’t do much but gaze out of his telescope. Eventually, to everyone’s dismay, he turns into an alien. They don’t notice until it’s too late. 

Thor’s Sim has a bunch of weird habits, including but not limited to pantomiming rowing a boat in the bathtub and regularly burning down the house with his poor cooking skills. Eventually, Steve just gives up and moves him out, but even then he's back visiting every day. Steve doesn't get it.

Tony’s Sim rockets straight to the top of his career path. Real Tony doesn't even try not to be smug about that when he finds out.

Steve’s Sim…gardens. Steve doesn’t know what to make of it, really, but then, that’s sort of how he’s felt about his whole life since he woke up in the future, so he lets it be.

He plays it on and off for days, fascinated by the little lives in the screen, until one day, he comes back from having let it run through dinner to find Tony messing around with it.

“Cool, right?” Steve grins at him, sitting next to him to see what he’d been doing.

“Eh.” Tony shrugs disinterestedly, clearly unimpressed. “Graphics are decent for a non-Stark product. Honestly, I have no idea why we haven't bought out this company yet and done work on this game, I should really talk to Pepper about that. JARVIS, remember that for me. Or better yet, interrupt Pepper during her next board meeting. She'll love that. You still have access to her phone, yeah?"

"Of course, Sir. Consider it done."

“Yeah, well.” Steve didn’t really understand or care for the technological aspects. “The team, though. Pretty neat, yeah?”

“Yeah, yeah, nice work Cap. Here, all yours, I was just tinkering.” Tony pushes the computer back into Steve's hands. “I’m not interested in looking after Clint’s devil child for any longer than I have to.”

“What did you say about Mockingbird?” calls Clint from the other room.

“Never have children, Barton,” Tony calls back, waving distractedly in Steve’s direction before leaving the room.

Steve takes back the computer and looks through what Tony was doing. There isn't much in the way of discernable change…Steve would be inclined to think that Tony probably hadn’t been at it for long if not for the fact that Mockingbird was teetering on the edge of being taken away by a Sim social worker. 

Shaking his head, he clicks on Sim Steve, trusting him and only him to be able to get Mockingbird back into high spirits. Interestingly, even Sim Clint and Sim Natasha hadn't spent as much time with little Mockingbird as Sim Steve had. He chalks it up to the 'loyal' trait.

He double clicks so that the program sends him over to where Sim Steve is... engaged in an unfortunate looking computerized makeout session with Sim Tony?

That can't be right. 

Oh.

Snapping the laptop shut, he stares at the floor for a few moments in bewilderment, questions racing through his mind.  _What does Tony mean by this? Is he trying to suggest something? Is he trying to mock...?_

Ugh. Mocking, yes, that's probably it. Knowing Tony, the whole affair is probably an underhanded ploy to get Steve to admit to something he isn’t prepared to admit--in other words, Tony is once again  _not playing fair._

He grits his teeth and puts the laptop back in its case.

He switches to playing Halo that night and never looks back, much to Clint and Natasha’s confusion. "It's more satisfying," he explains, taking out Natasha and Thor's characters in two clean back-to-back shots. They give him the benefit of the doubt.

........................

Sim Steve and Sim Tony get married at 7:30 p.m. Sim time, 3:45 a.m. regular time, on the last day of Clint and Natasha's video game week. Their Sim teammates all bear through the ceremony, some more enthusiastically than others (Thor), and are rewarded with cake for their efforts. (Steve makes a mental note of this for the next time he needs to offer incentives.) Sim Clint and Sim Natasha's little Mockingbird, now almost a teenager, goes over and gives Sim Steve a hug. 

Steve raises his water bottle in a groggy toast to the newlyweds, looks over his creations one last time, and deletes the save file.

He doesn't notice the arc reactor glowing faintly in the doorframe, but that's probably for the best.

**Author's Note:**

> so this was, once upon a time, actually part of my longer Stony fic, Where or When--hence the link--but it evolved into something completely separate...so enjoy, and please forgive me for mixing some Sims 2 references in with other Sims 3 things. Artistic license and all that.


End file.
